I know. Three posts in 30 minutes. Unheard of.

But this is important, if you have an interest in knowing your TRUE weight. According to studies done on real people and published on late night infomercials, if you are reading this post (or even if you’re not), you are very likely carrying around 4 or more pounds of fecal matter. In some cases, the study has found people with upwards of 10 pounds stored away somewhere.

So next time you weigh yourself, just subtract 4 lbs to get your true weight. I went to the doctor recently and they weighed me. As the nurse was writing down my weight I mentioned to her to be sure to subtract the 4 pounds of fecal matter I was carrying. I think she smiled, I’m not really sure.

Anyway, if you want to get rid of this, there is brand new technology called “colon flow” that will grease the sluceway and clean things up (actually, you have to do the final clean-up, but the colon flow does the “heavy lifting”).

Personally, I like to kill two birds with one stone and just go to Taco Bell.

Thought this was a nice bagpipe arrangement of “Amazing Grace”

As I write this, there have been exactly 563 (make that 562, not counting myself) visitors to this page since I opened the polls on my 2011 theme song. I have received 1 vote via comment and 3 email votes. I have to throw the email votes out because you didn’t follow proper voting procedure as clearly stated in the post. I also have to throw out the 1 Comment vote because, even though I can determine the voter’s intent, the format of the vote was not correct. Rules are rules.

So, I appreciate you all leaving this important decision in my hands. I’ll sleep on it and decide tomorrow. Just got my repaired Boss ME-50 back today, so that could very well influence the decision.

“Turn on, tune out, plug in” or whatever the hell Dr Leary said.