A BIG congratulations to Miss Teen South Carolina Caitlin Upton, an eighteen year old beauty who fooled everyone earlier this week. When it was her turn to answer those inane questions every beauty pageant forces their contestants to answer on the spot, no rehearsal, etc, etc. Not only did she give a well thought out “off-beat” answer, some of the nations top scholars are still trying to decode the hidden meaning behind her response and who exactly she was communicating with. The Drudge Report is trying to confirm whether she has connections in the super-secret intelligence community and was in-fact communicating with her handler(s) about terrorist plots she had uncovered.

Let’s break down her answer word for word and see if we can figure this thing out.

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because [I think she means we have not taken appropriate measures to counter terrorist cells in a large midwestern city per her previous communications] , um, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps [she is telling her handlers that the intelligence community is way off track and should look at her previous communication on specific terrorist targets] and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq [she has found a trail of some sort, perhaps a financial link between cells in South Africa and cells in Iraq] and everywhere like such as [ok. she's uncovered numerous links hitherto unknown to the intelligence community because "everywhere" is not a term used lightly by the underworld], and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S.,[she is willing to go deeper undercover if "education" approves and she is given the necessary resources] uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future.”[this part is a little confusing. I'm not sure why she threw "Asian countries" in all of a sudden without context. I can only assume that the person(s) she is communicating with already understand those missing links. I hope so. There's too much on the line.]

Here’s the tape at normal speed. See what you think…